It's Goddamn Grass

I just saw a commercial for a lawn tractor that supposedly has a turn radius smaller than its competitors. Holy hell, this is the kind of stuff that infuriates me. Is this seriously important?

I'm not pumping my fist to any new cause when I complain about stuff like this. Just the mention of the  frivolity of lawn care is enough to attract every hipster and bohemian within earshot. But like I said, it's goddamn grass. It's really not that important.

I wonder how much the guy with the greenest lawn in the neighborhood contributes to charity. Let's hit on that for a second.

Around the time Haiti got wasted by that big earthquake, Facebook groups like these started popping up and pissing me off severely. The idea is that by joining a group which promises to donate one amount of a certain kind of currency (in this case, $1 USD) for each person who joins, people then feel that they are donating by proxy. That's absolutely ludicrous and it's simply a case of lazy people giving themselves peace of mind that they helped when they didn't.

You know what I did to help out Haiti? I gave $10 to Red Cross and bought this awesome shirt, 100% of the proceeds of which went to Red Cross as well. See, I actually took some money out of my own goddamn pocket. I didn't click "join" to a group on Facebook and wipe my hands, dutifully declaring, "My work here is done" before joining a group full of people who think that the situation in Darfur "totally sucks" and that it should stop.

The world don't work that way, but more on that later.