My Job Again

Right now I'm working Gates shift.

I didn't mention that during this shift, I get to look into car headlights for a solid amount of time. I wouldn't be annoyed by this if there wasn't a sign in front of the gatehouse that said in nice big letters "PLEASE DIM LIGHTS."

I hate when they don't dim their lights. Whenever they do I get all giddy.

10:18PM
A guy comes through going to some place or another. He doesn't have a university ID so I record his vehicle and license info. Upon inspecting his license plate, I see "TRANCE" staring me in the face. I can't say it worked, but I was momentarily stunned.

10:31PM
A guy comes through to pick up his girlfriend at the campus's performing arts center. I make a joke, saying I've always wanted to date an actress (not true). He laughs and says she's more of a behind-the-scenes worker. I say I've always wanted to date a girl who knows actresses. He laughs at that too. I'm so witty.

10:35PM
I have the thought, drinking some water, that technology is awesome. I have mixed with my water an powder that has given the aforementioned water the flavor of cherry limeade to a certain extent. I love the flavor and it makes me drink more water, which is a good thing to do because...well, it's water. At the same time, this powdered mix contains chemicals that have absolutely zero adverse effects on me and it is free of calories, sugar, and so on. It is something that completely 100% advantageous. There is absolutely no setback or damage of any kind from this powdered drink mix. Doesn't that seem rare? Almost everything we deal with has a yin to its yang, but not this son of a bitch.

10:55PM
Another pretty girl comes through. I admit, I take a long enough look at their ID to get their name so I can look them up on Facebook. Is this weird, or smart? Also, I'm laughing my ass off to Danny Dodge's cover of "Friday". I love it.

11:00PM
A car passes through with the driver in a light blue hoodie, hair obscured, but I see their bangs. They show me their ID and I say "Have a good night miss." As the words form in my head and leave out the mouth, a fear stabs me: I can't honestly tell if it's a chick or a dude. Oh no. I cross mentally my fingers as they accelerate, when they look at me and say, "Wait...'miss'?"
Damnit. I yell out "I'm sorry!" as they drive away, laughing. Darn womanly dudes always mixing me up. Perhaps I should stop using "sir" and "miss" anyway, all these people are my age.

11:11PM
Oh sweet baby Jesus, I memorized a girl's name and looked her up on Facebook, getting my first match of the night. I say aloud, "Bingo," then laugh at how automatic it was for me to say that, even before I realized I said it. I'm terrible.

11:26PM
A delivery guy comes through. Delivery folk are allowed in without showing ID, along with state vehicles, emergency vehicles, and buses. He don't speak English too good, but nonetheless I go for my favorite joke. He says he's delivery, and so I ask him, as I do almost every deliveryman, "Can I have some?" He gets it and plays into it, rummaging around a bit for something to give me. I break it off before it goes from funny to awkward, laughing and telling him I'm just kidding and to have a good night. He gives a good, genuine laugh before driving off. I love that joke.

11:47PM
I'm editing a script I'm writing. I stopped writing it to do a full plot synopsis first to guide me. Now that I go over my jokes in the script and laugh at them, I don't know if I'm funny or just self-involved.

12:21AM
A Foot Patrol unit is walking up to my gatehouse. It's kind of funny, them walking in the middle of the road like heroes out of a movie, but at the same time being simple Student Police Aides like me. Previously they saw some kids crossing the intersection a couple hundred feet in front of me and figured they were entering the woods across the way in order to smoke pot, as kids have been caught there before doing that very thing. Some police units went with them to check it out and took over from there. Foot Patrol isn't sure of what happened to this kids but the police radioed that they had been sent on their way. No clue as to whether or not they received a citation.

1:18AM
I love Scrubs.

2:20AM
The "PLEASE DIM LIGHTS" sign decided to migrate to the center of the road, thanks to the wind propelling it forward. It keeps inching away like it's trying to escape. Annoying bastard. I have nothing to weight it down with.

2:40AM
Gonna pack up and head in now. I hope you enjoyed this mini diary.